Back to the missionary position…

paperboyInstallment 1: How I Became an Atheist

As a new member of the Evangelism Corps, I became a cog in an elite team of zealous, idealistic young Christians who really wanted to get away from home. Get away from home and drag people to Jesus.

At the beginning of our training as God’s paperboys, delivering the Good News to doorsteps all over the northwest US, we were each given a personality test. It was a common questionnaire cleverly designed so that you could, without even being aware of it, distill yourself into a category of personality-type combinations. It made sense: effective implementation of any tool requires balance. When assembling squads, the director didn’t want one made up entirely of jazz-hands extroverts, leaving the introverts huddled together trying to avoid eye contact.

Care to guess which broad category claimed me as an undistinguished member? I don’t know. It was either ISTJ (golden retriever) or ISFP (labrador retriever). The only letter that really mattered was the I because, while there is no I in team, you can’t have a strong team without a mother-may-I introvert. Thanks to an infallible sorting method, I was placed on teams with perky girls, amusing magicians, and stoic guitar players. It wasn’t as much fun as it sounds.

Fascinating stuff is it not? Too bad. Walking down Memory Lane is boring me. I’m going to take run down to Procrastination Place to clear my head.

1 Comment

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One Response to Back to the missionary position…

  1. Frankly Curious

    At least you learned puppets. That’s the great thing about puppets–at least for me. I’m shy, but the puppet can get away with anything. Or at least, I feel like I can get away with anything he does. And the glory of puppets is that most people go along with it. Put a few eyes on a puppet and people think it’s real. It’s kind of like God, but without the need for the eyes.

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